[考博复习资料]考博作文批改范例十_考博_旭晨教育

作文批改范例：

It won't be dark and hopeless until the light of love begin （ 主谓一致，begins ）to burn which appears more significant in darker place. （ 这个定语从句用在这里不太合适，可以改成一个句子，love is like light which is brighter in darker places .）I consider it may be （ 这部分删掉 ）what the picture want （ 注意主谓一致，wants ） to tell us.
During the gray period when all the people on the earth suffered SARS,scientists and doctors devote （ 既然是在说以前的事情就用过去时 ）themslves and their love to curing the patients , securing the health （ The healthy people ） and arming against the evil （ plague ）.They're exactly respectable.After the earthquake came to attack （ 直接用attacked ） Sichuan Province,all the people there were in the darkness which is painful and awful （ 这里的定语从句用的不好，可以删掉 。）.Love from other places in China and from other nations of the world arrived. The people suffered the agony （ 删掉，这是多余的部分，直接用suffer from ….） from the catastrophe were inspired. It's love as a light who （ 变成强调句型，这里改成that beats ….）beat the darkness.
When the scientists and the doctors tribute （ contributed ） their help,love appears;when the kindness denote their money and commodities,love appears;when we make a contribution to give others a hand,love appears .（ 这一段可以看成是对上一段的一个总结，用的还是上面的例子，所以还是用过去式较好。 ）

点评：5-6分

作文的主题能够理解，但是作文的三点要求并没有全部表现出来，第三部分陈述自己的观点，在你的文章中并没有体现。导致内容不完整。另外语言方面的问题也较多，一个是主谓一致问题较多，再就是有些句子表达不明确，导致老师不能正确理解你的意思。注意由于马虎造成的拼写错误。注意用词方面的准确性。注意标点符号的正确使用。注意空格问题。这些都能反应出你的英语基本功并不扎实，所以今后复习的时候一定要继续巩固基本功，背诵范文之后一定要默写，从中检查自己的写作弱点。多读读英语文章，提高语感。加油啊。